I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize