Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
