we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
