i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
