Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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