Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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