No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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