Already got asked if we're dating
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
