a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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