Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
