Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
