Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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