He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
