it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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