I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
