Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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