everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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