Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So here I am, sexting at work.
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