covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize