Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
