so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
