Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
