We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
