Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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