Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
