Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...

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(216): View more from Ohio

She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

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(772): View more from Florida

Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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(620): View more from Kansas

So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(925): View more from California

I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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(207): View more from Maine

if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?

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