yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
