Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize