i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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