i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
