The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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