ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
