Fuck appropriateness.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
