The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it because I queefed?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
