i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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