dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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