just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
