I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
