D3 body, D1 cock
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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