Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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