even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
