it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
