I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
