So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
