You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
