i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
