So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
