God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
