I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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