Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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