I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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