there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize