I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
