with your own penis?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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