she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
