And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize