i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
