Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My ass is underappreciated
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
