I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
