Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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