quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
